Monday, May 7, 2012
Things that are difficult
OK, here is a post about things related to the adoption that bug me. Not that I would change anything. Just stuff that I personally have a hard time with. Most all of these things were expected. Just wish they wouldn't bother me as much. The 1st thing is the twins not being potty trained. I think the main reason it bugs me is because the orphanage director lied to me. We were told prior to our visit they were potty trained. Every day of our visit, they were in a diaper. Twice I asked the director, via our translator, why the kids had diapers on. Both times I was told that they are definitely trained but sometimes forget to tell someone they have to go when there are visitors. Seemed a bit odd, yet somewhat understandable. So when we arrive to pick them up, I give the caregivers their change of clothes including undies. They come back and give me back the undies and a pack of diapers. Makes me wonder what else the director lied about! Anyway, it is apparent that someone must have been working on potty training them somewhat. Both would sit on the potty the week we were in country. This past week, Blake has been using the potty (for pee only) frequently as long as I remind him. Emery is no where near potty trained. So I am going to work with Blake first and then proceed with Emery. The 2nd thing that bugs me is that the kids throw any wrapper or other trash item on the ground. I know this is minor, but hey, I am being honest here. #3 - both kids prefer their finger to a tissue. Yuck! They have zero social skills. I know, this is normal for orphanage kids, it just bugs me. I think it bugs me because it seems like it will take forever for them to learn these things - overwhelming I guess. Another biggie is that Blake is such a stinker (I use the word stinker just to be nice). He bosses his sister around constantly. He yells at us in Bulgarian and shakes his finger at us. He throws a fit about 50 percent of the time he is told no. He really acts like a spoiled brat. It is super hard to teach him proper behavior skills without getting angry. I pray for patience with him on a regular basis. I also remind myself that these behaviors could be transition related and he is only 7. I know in time, things will improve. There are just moments when it seems so very overwhelming. One last thing that bugs me is that I do not have even one close or semi-close friend that has adopted a child. Nobody else really gets it and sometimes I just wish I had someone that did. OK, I am done whining now. Thanks for "listening".